Easier to be...

I have been listening to the new Lifehouse CD... I love First time and Easier to be... the dude has an amazing voice!

2:44am and I still haven't solved a single question...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvaUCRVYhz4&feature=PlayList&p=99C0153EC59D4C6C&index=9

This is a song from my Charleston days. I'm really tired... and my brain is really tired... the world swims in circles.. and I can't solve the similarity transformation. :-(

this old heart of mine...

this is my message in a bottle.. i am still struggling to understand the actions of someone out there... what happened? why wasn't i given an explanation? are my feelings of that little importance? why haven't you called? could i honestly have been so terribly mistaken in my understanding of you? don't you care about me?

i'm trying very hard to reconcile your behaviour with a reasonable explanation... maybe this is your way of letting me down easy... i miss you... i hope that you are happy...

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Now playing: Guster - Rocketship
via FoxyTunes

The asshole's non-apology and miscellaneous stories.

This is the story of a cad, let's call him Fred, who said something truly horrid and hateful to a simple and sincere girl, let's call her Jane. When Fred unleashed his brief but ruthless tirade on Jane, he did so out of frustration at what he perceived to be her uppity attitude. Little did he realize that his reaction was wholly unprovoked and mainly a result of him being a colossal prick! Anyway, Jane employed her usual approach of not showing any emotion in the face of a provoking situation and maintained her silence until Fred marched away angrily. Jane later received a voice-mail from Fred - a purported apology that did nothing but strengthen Jane's resolve to cut off all diplomatic ties with Fred.

The apology began contritely enough, but proceeded to exhibit what a butt-munch Fred really was. It was the non-apology of the format "I'm sorry I was harsh and undeservedly so... but...."(insert Fred type bullshit).

Jane refuses to acknowledge the presence of Fred now onwards.

And yet.. there's the other kind of cad. The one that is supposed to be your friend, does something to disappoint you and then never apologizes for it. To people guilty of such follies let it be said that not apologizing to your friend for being an asshole makes you a bigger asshole. Some offences do have a statute of limitation. If you tarry your apology beyond the statute, your friendship with the person may very well be a thing of the past, and deservedly so.

Cad #2 - I am reallly pissed off with you, you behaved incredibly poorly and I am thoroughly disappointed in your conduct.

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Now playing: Cake - Cool Blue Reason
via FoxyTunes

Losing a friend...

I read a blog entry that sparked a thought... (http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/08/15/losing-a-friend-over-money/)

When is it OK to bail on a friend and give up on the person? When can you allow yourself to not feel guilty about passing judgement on a friendship and finally calling it a day? Personally, despite sporting my ultra chic pessimistic exterior, I find that I hold on to hope much longer than other reasonable people would. Its caused me a lot of heartache in the past and I have a feeling that things aren't going to change much in the future in that regard. Although, this past week, I did dodge the friendly (but not overly friendly) advances of a new acquaintance to avoid any possibility of the guy being an ass. I think I've lost faith in my judgement of people.

I've lost faith in most of what people tell me or what I understand from whatever they tell me. I think reading between the lines saves oneself a lot of useless expectations.

Last few words on the thought.. I hope that my anger and disappointment dissolve soon.. its exhausting.

I know I'm not making sense and that I've left out a lot.. whatever...

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Now playing: Razorlight - America
via FoxyTunes

Wow! The storks love this family!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6973101.stm

I know this is completely off-base, but whenever someone talks about the stresses of child rearing, I remember how much I want a cat and all the reasons why I don't!! These poor people! Talk about life being full of surprises. When these two people got married, I bet they didn't expect to be popping out 3 in a batch twice!! This is what you get for doing the hokey pokey! :-P

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Now playing: U2 - Everlasting Love
via FoxyTunes

I'm putting my money on the male of the species for this one...

The following is an excerpt from the Goofs section of the IMDB's entry for Becoming Jane.
"Anachronisms: When Jane is in London, writing in her night gown, she turns suddenly and you can see the outline of a thong (underwear) as she walks away from the camera."

I have a shrewd suspicion that only a guy would notice such a thing... call me biased...

(Loved the movie, am going to go watch it again tomorrow)

going to lewisburg, pa tomorrow...

Blah...

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Now playing: Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies
http://foxytunes.com/artist/panic!+at+the+disco/track/i+write+sins+not+tragedies

OMFG! YAY!!!

Chris Noth is going to play Mr. Big in the new SATC movie!! I am so excited!! As far as fictional leading men go, Mr. Big comes in my top 3...hooray for spin-off movies!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/08/10/chris.noth.ap/index.html

Pride in my compatriot's wit!

'I once complained to an Indian ticket inspector that I had paid a surcharge to travel on a super-fast train, which was not very fast. He corrected me saying, "It is a super-fast train, it's only going slowly."'

:-) That's an excerpt from the following article on the beeb:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/6938947.stm

Here's hoping that the bureaucracy figures out a way to share the pie with those below the poverty line!!

Paul Van Dyk - My World

So, to continue to expound about an old muse of mine, I've always wondered what made music "talk" to a person. I've been listening to some of Paul Van Dyk's songs that are purely instrument based with no human voices in the songs and they fill me with an elation that I can't accurately canvas with words. It is a sense of optimism and an excitement for the future!

To extend that thought, people see different things in human beings based on the tint of the filter through which they perceive everything in this world. I sometimes completely understand the obsession with Maya that some philosophers have. Because I really believe that every perception is biased and coloured by our experiences and expectations. I really doubt that any absolutely objective point of view exists. Everything is relative.

I don't have the courage to say what I want to say in this medium. I'm very shady about some things. But, nobody is reading this anyways, so what the heck does it matter, eh? I'm an existential coward, even in this anonymous medium. My views probably appear moronic to an outsider, especially as the views of someone about to embark on a thesis based on quantum mechanics and nuclear interactions, but I am who I am and I can't change that.

In my last post I mentioned someone impeding my ascension. The impediment has been done away with, and I am excited about the new challenge that I am facing. This coming semester is going to be AWESOME!!!!

within touching distance and yet so very, very far away!

I've been extremely lucky in my life in some extremely important matters and at other times life has just been so sticky and yucky that I almost believe in a greater power with an extremely sick sense of humour. Like right now I am so close to financial stability/moksha! And yet.... it eludes me, temporarily I hope.

I don't want to get in to any sort of trouble, so I'm not going to go through the sordid details - some of which I shouldn't officially know. Suffice it to say, that my ascension is being impeded by a person wholly unqualified to do so!

Yet, fortunately, I have a perverse enough sense of humour to appreciate the hilarity of my situation! I'd love to give into the dogma of the paranoid and hypothesize that the forces of the universe are colluding against me - but I'm not in grad. school for nothing. I know that shit happens and that a survivor trudges through the sludge of life and a successful person manages to find something positive in his journey through the sludge.

I am utilizing my down time to straighten my apartment and do fun things that I always wanted to do. I watched two movies in the theatre this weekend; when admission is just $5.50 you have to take advantage!! Watched a delightful movie called Once. I think its message is slowly percolating through my system.

I think the lesson to take away this week is - shit happens - try and enjoy what you can.

Au Revoir Harry!

I finished the seventh book this morning. Think I read 700+ pages in 12 hours straight? Pity that I cannot get through my journal papers as quickly. Eh... what to do?

Anyway, I found a most excellent precis of the HP series - and I wanted to post it. It is excerpted from the following BBC link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6896062.stm

BOOK ONE:
Harry: :D
BOOK TWO:
Harry: :)
BOOK THREE:
Harry: :|
BOOK FOUR:
Harry: :/
BOOK FIVE:
Harry: :(
BOOK SIX:
Harry: :'

Fodder for misandry...

I Temporarily Surrendered a Small Part of Myself

Guy #1: You were not a virgin if you had sex with her.
Guy #2: Yes, I was. Technically you are still a virgin spiritually if she is ugly.

--Metro North to OAR Concert

Overheard by: Kelley

(http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/)

i don't know why... but i think its hilarious!

funny...

No Request Is Too Extreme

Girl #1: Thanks, I like being wished on. Well, not wished on, but wished for.
Girl #2: I was wished on in Mexico...
Girl #1, after long pause: Was it the same guy that gave you herpes?

--N train

Overheard by: i thought it was funny....

(http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/)

she sounds like a little cartman in the making..

Can I Have a Little Childhood, Here?

A stray kitten wanders up to a little girl who bends down to pet it.

Mom: Come on, sweetie, it's time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I'm petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I'm petting the kitty!

--17th & 6th

(from Overheard in NYC)

she sounds like a little cartman in the making..

Can I Have a Little Childhood, Here?

A stray kitten wanders up to a little girl who bends down to pet it.

Mom: Come on, sweetie, it's time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I'm petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I'm petting the kitty!

--17th & 6th

(from Overheard in NYC)

relax...take it easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

it just occurred to me that a little more than a year ago, i had just moved to charleston and begun a job and possibly a new life. i've been pondering the passage of time - how the pace is deceptive and lull you into a false sense of security. i still remember smells from charleston, the feel of humidity, the burning heat that would waft out of my car at 5 in the evening. the desperate sense of disorientation that i'd feel in the confines of my wonderful apartment.

a job i didn't like. a place where i didn't make too many friends. a place where i lost my job and experienced 2 months of painful confusion regarding my future. not much going for charleston. but there are some things, some experiences and some people that redeem the chucktown experience.
i survived a car mishap on my way to the blasted city for christ's sake!!

life moves fast though. i'm in grad. school now. when i go to websites and have to pick my education level, i automatically reach for the undergrad option. then i have to take a moment and shake my head and pick graduate. its weird. i just watched a video about this couple that's half israeli and half palestinian. basically, they are dogging it out in no-man's land right now and high tailing it out to europe to they can live "normally". one of my first thoughts is, wouldn't you want to avoid dating someone who is obviously going to be so high maintenance? (i don't know what that says about me! nothing good, i'm sure.) also, the dude doesn't speak much other than hebrew and arabic, so what's he going to do in europe? learn the language, i suppose.

funny thing- the heart, if you aren't true to it misery dogs you like its in heat. and if you aren't true of heart, then you're the dog that's in misery. :-) i'm miserable on multiple fronts in my life right now, but still, at the end of the day, as i sit in the kitchen of the new apartment that i've moved into, i thank my stars that atleast i got out of charleston. :-D

hot damn! happy birthday euler!!

just randomly stumbled on euler's wiki profile.. its his birthday today! he is 300 years old today!! para bens!

Did you know Nickelback was Canadian?

1. No funding in sight for the fall. I've put in my TA applications, but I am told that I will need a *lot* of things to go my way to get it.

2. Apartment situation is a little aggravating. Have to move yet again. Here's hoping that a longer shower awaits me!! (And a drier bathroom floor!)

3. Health issues - Priscilla's wedding is in July - please, please, please let me not look heinous then. (For that matter, please, let me always stop just a little short of heinous.)

4. Academia - please, please, please let my inner genius shine through! I don't know what the world did to scare my inner genius into hiding, but the genius in me hasn't peeked at the world in eons and frankly, its been so long that I've forgotten what my genius looks like.

5. Please, please, please let the universe be a kind place where impossible dreams and hopes come true. I have whittled down my list of impossible wishes and dreams that I want to see come true - there's only about 20 of them left now, and I swear one of those still in the running isn't "please let all my dreams and wishes come true!" I don't ask for a lot and much that is impossible, just a little faith, talent, good health, wealth and love.

Iron chef - what's the big deal? /me is not very impressed.

/me shuts her eyes and makes a few wishes!