Tick tock... its almost time to close this chapter.

That's right, its time to wind up most affairs in this place and start meaning the goodbyes and thinking about that which awaits me in a few days. I don't think I am going to delete this blog; it wasn't a 100% miserable experience, I'd give it a 70% misery rating. There are some experiences and events for which I will forever value this place.

I wish I could say something meaningful and genuine that was eloquent and honest. But the truth is, I don't trust the blog's privacy anymore. There are some thoughts that should always be kept private - that you would never voice aloud, even to a complete stranger, which is what the blog means to me.

Why am I talking about something that I am not going to talk about? Because I'm such a tease! ;-) I guess I feel the need to say that I am not saying things and that while not everything said in this blog is untrue, not everything significant is mentioned either. Just like in life - people don't always mean what they say or say what they mean or say what they want or actually want what they say. And if that weren't long-winded enough, sometimes people realize that they are being untruthful in what they are saying and still say it and sometimes its the other way round.

I wonder how neurotic everyone is. I am guessing that my brain is more neurotic than average, but sometimes I think that I might be giving myself too much credit. All this white noise, verbal and otherwise - is it in just my head? I think not. My conversations with a lot of my friends leads me to believe that I am not alone in my confusion over that which is spoken and that which is not spoken.


Circles... concentric circles, that's how I envisage confusion/crises of the mind. Everything gets nested and once they start sitting into bigger containers, like the little Russian dolls, issues get further complicated even as they start getting parallelized and more intangible. Jesus Christ! I feel like I am writing a treatise on a mental breakdown. Also, I lost the point I was trying to make about a paragraph and half ago. (Its 12:24am and I am stressed and depressed - give me a break!)

I went to Sullivan's Island this Sunday. I have had the flu this past week and for about a day and half I thought I was going to die an unnoticed death. Its OK though, I drove myself to the grocery store and its true - what won't kill you will make you stronger. Anyway, back to Sullivan's Island - it was a singularly divine day at the beach and I don't think my words could ever do justice to the experience of the beach on that day. I spent about 3 hours walking and thought a myriad thoughts.


If only I could go back in time...