The Guitar Man - Cake..

Proctoring an exam right now. Kind of bored. Had planned on getting something very important done. However, it turns out that I'm not in the mood to work on it right now. I really like The Guitar Man by Cake. Such a good group...

I'm almost finished with Into the Wild. I have conflicting feelings about the book. On the one hand, I identify with Alex's need to step away from life and all its ensuing obligations and baggage. On the other hand, though, I understand the loss experienced by his family and understand that this was a waste. I guess a wiser choice would have to been to have the cake and eat it too. To look at a map and learn the skills needed before heading off into the wilderness.

I guess the guy who takes the cake is the chap who ventured off into the wilderness and forgot to arrange to have someone come pick him up. Wow! That's a big thing to fluke on. I can't imagine what death by starvation would feel like. Especially when it is essentially self-inflicted starvation.

Anyway, moving to other thoughts. The realtor lady called me and kind of creeped me out by going on about how great my company is. I have changed enough to actually recognize when someone is trying to ingratiate themselves to me. She did. But, all that useless rhetoric about how great my future employers are just adds to my anxiety.

Here's how I feel about the whole employment gig.
1. don't like being told what to do.
2. don't like my time being managed by someone else
3. really freaked out about the notion of committing to one entity for the next few YEARS of my life
4. really freaked out by the haunting memories of Charleston. worried about the social isolation and general feeling of disorientation that pervaded throughout my conciousness.
5. really freaked about stepping into the next phase of life, about aging and just watching the clock spin in general
6. will miss the security/comfort/joy of being in school. i LOVE school. i am happy here. even when i am miserable here, i am happier than i would be anywhere else.

the realtor lady kept reaching for an enthusiastic note in my voice. thing is, i have to do this so i will. i have no choice about the seconds ticking by. i am just worried about natick being a charleston part 2. that would not be good for my mental well being. although, i've worked hard recently to maintain equinamity and a general balance of emotions. who knows what the future holds?

wow, this kid is taking a LOT of time to finish his damn exam. he said that he'd be done in less than 3 hours. he is ten minutes shy of hitting 3 hours. i crib because i am weak. he's cool.

may the light shine on me about Rao-Blackwellized Particle Filters. They rock, and so do interacting multiple model algorithms. However, they currently dodge me and I grow weary of this game....

i love vision. computer vision, tracking... those are some truly sweet fields. i am looking forward to purchasing a lego mindstorm kit. that is going to be beyond fun. it'll be the most expensive toy that i will have ever purchased. doubly expensive, i plan on being a cool aunt and sending a kit to my little tots.

its coming down. she is leaving your house. she had to get out. she is mad and she'll take her mattress with her. its coming down, its coming down, its coming down..
cake...
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BORED again...