wow.. i guess a car can't cure boredom entirely..

i'm bored again.. think i am procrastinating sleep again, what is wrong with me? i left work early because i wasn't feeling a 100% (no, i did not duck out early to drive, i took a 2 hour lunch to do that :P)

i am going to the ice-skating rink tomorrow. never been to one before, so this is going to be interesting. the woman told me to bring a blank and gloves! it will be nice to be a part of something cool... :P (didja catch the pun?)

my brain is going a gazillion miles a minute again. i really, really wish i could stop thinking and feeling as much as i do. it is exhausting and hurtful at times. i am trying to assume a foetal position emotionally where i am protecting myself from any hurt. but my brain isn't all together on that, even!! to use a driving metaphor, i feel this curve coming up ahead and i am trying to slow down to make the turn fine, but some perverse part of me is pressing the accelerator to see what happens when i push the limits.

random thoughts in my head..
* radio vs. youtube, google vid etc.
radio --> playlist established, more of an opportunity for you to sample different stuff, listen to conversationa
youtube, google vid --> allow you to listen to the same song over and over again (yes, yes, i confess i do that.. a *lot*.. but it takes a truly special song)... drawback, no branching out.. easy to get stuck in a rut of the same artists.. plus, amazing time suckage :P (as opposed to corporate suckage! :P)
* blogging and how you might get into trouble at work .. i read something on the bbc and later wired about bloggers who got into trouble for badmouthing their employers in cyberspace. hmm.. i have always had issues with censorship and any curbing of freedom of speech. however, i see, sort of, the employer's perspective. i think a blogger has to be smart and protect himself from being sued. basically, don't be an idiot, show some courage. if you truly have something heinous to say about your place of work, go tell it to your manager, who might actually be able to make things change?
* blogging and how people might read what you write. i really regret sharing my blog address with some of my friends. i used to write a journal, for a few years, and when i went home to india, i had to take it with me (didn't want any friends reading it by mistake) and hide it (definitely didn't want my mother laying her hands on it). i had to hide it when my mother visited here. the beauty of a blog, from that perspective, is that my family will never find out! :P
anyway, the good news is that not everything i write here is true, especially the intensity with which i hate charles-doody-ton. sometimes i just need to rant and say some rubbish, and the blog is most obliging. i definitely have not spilled my guts entirely on the blog. that would be stupid. i have said a lot of that which i mean, and some of it seems a little too personal, and its starting to bother me now. i think revoking posts is kind of lame, so i won't do that. maybe i'll just start a different blog and not divulge the address to anyone.
i have a public face that i prefer maintaining, even online. i hate my stupidity in letting the boundary rip and some of my true self peek through. fudge!

ok.. this is getting ridiculously long, and honestly, i have lost motivation and direction and am digressing needlessly and uselessly. i already drove for an hour and half tonight for fun.. so i guess i should go sleep.. :P