in sight of recent events, i am now officially allowed to swear again on the blog.

although, i will try not to.

i just got back from a drive. it breaks my heart, everytime i sit in mr. darcy, to think that i may have to sell him sooon. this is my official whining space, so here goes....

life is so unfair!! this is not my screw up.. this is *someone else's* screw up.. my life in charleston was finally starting to find some semblance of calm.. i was finally starting to make my peace with this place.. this is not just my life they are playing with, my family's fortunes vaguely depend on the direction my life takes as well.. how can someone be so unprofessional?!?!?!?!?! how can you just say, oh well the quota filled much earlier than anticipated? WHY DIDN"T YOU EXPLAIN THE PROCESS TO ME??? ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU GET PAID FOR????????????????????

OMG!!!!

you know, i came to charleston, slept on an air mattress for ruddy well a month, suffered through some serious inconvenience, financial stress and emotional stress because i moved here without a car, per advice of someone in an important position, worked for a mere pittance, because you were supposed to deliver ONE DOCUMENT to me and glory be!! that's the thing you fail me in?!?! (I am referring to CC)

right now, here's my pathetic situation. career-wise, i have hit a bump that will take me considerable time to recover. personally, i am going to have to give up a lot of my freedom and friends to go back to a land where my brother will demand that i return home before the sun bloody well sets!!! (i'll be damned if anyone back home will give me shit about my weight or my looks - they will risk facing my wrath!!) my heart is still not behaving... still insisting on being stupid and its only causing me hurt... i don't know if i will ever get to pursue my dream of robotics... I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my heart is leaking, and my face is about to leak. i wish i could go eat an ice-cream with a friend and just break the tension some, i really need a break.


and oh, like i said, this is my whining space.. i'm not some selfish brat that can't see that others may have bigger problems, like being split off from their children and junk.. but i need someone to talk to and whine to... so if you don't want to read it.. click away from here..