there she goes again...

life is full of craziness... there is the brother who briefly considered getting me married off to some "nice indian boy" to solve my immigration issues (mercifully there is the sister who came to my rescue by saying "let's not try and solve one problem by creating another!" (yay akka!!!)) ... there is the absolutely intense, confidence crushing realm of my work... the hurting casualness of people that I invited to a game night who didn't have the courtesy to call and let me know they couldn't make it (50 bucks worth of food down the drain... so to speak... (i am eating it all, unfortunately the salsa and the 5 layer dip won't keep for long, so i have to be a bit of a glutton there...))... there is the head-scratching conundrum that i face... how the heck do i still stay in this country!?!... there are the windmills of my mind that churn and turn incessantly...

its not all bad, i started "drawing" again. *shrug* it makes me feel better. i wouldn't show my stuff to anyone, but it makes me happy - reminds me of what it was to be five!! i realized last week that i am still a child!! really!! i have my grown up side that takes care of that which needs to be taken care of, but at the same point, i really don't like most of the baggage that being a grown-up comes with. the whole thing about friendships getting complicated blows... i like having people that i can randomly hang out with, people that i randomly talk to, people that have a diversity that is enriching... you know, how when you were a kid on the play ground and you didn't have to worry about being too needy for a friend - it would all sort itself out, one way or another... and you'd still have a friend...

i love capoeria for that... i am trying to do a headstand... i remember doing those when i was little, just for fun, on the mattress at night before going to sleep... i like laughing and having a good time with friends. don't get me wrong, i will always be there for a friend if they need me - but at the same point of time, there has to be a fun factor in life that doesn't involve a lot of baggage/planning. spontaneity is so thrilling and essential!!

so what am i saying? i am going to convince my family that i need to go back to school, for a ph. d., which will allow me to escape the real world for the next five years! i am going to make the world a better place in my own special way, one day... some how...

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hyuk hyuk... i just read this on an awesome blog... (http://www.overheardintheoffice.com//)... reminds me of starvin' marvin :P

We Tell Them Americans Are Fat Monsters. Is That What You Meant?

Trainer: In America, when our kids don't finish their meals we tell them that there are starving kids in Africa. What do you tell them?
Clients from Kenya: [Silence]

Cafeteria, Hazina Towers, 258 Monrovia Street
Nairobi, Kenya